What Emily Needs

I saw this on Facebook. I typed in "emily needs" on google and I'm writing down the top 10 things it came up with. I'm posting it here instead of Facebook so I don't annoy people with the tagging.

1. Emily needs to give Tim food in Social Studies today.      Ummm... right.

2. Emily needs new painting skills.    Or any painting skills.

3. Emily needs your phone numbers.    This is not working out too well so far.

4. Emily needs to get her Tortillas on Vimeo.    I'm about to give up on this list.

5. Emily needs advice.    Okay, that's more like it. I generally could use some advice.

6. Emily needs help deciding how to cut her hair.    No, I like my hair the way it is!

7. Emily needs more light on her face.   An ad for Flickr, but a little more light couldn't hurt.

8. Emily needs a job.   I have a job. I just need benefits.

9. Emily needs an iTunes gift card.   Ain't that the truth.

10. Emily needs lifelong support.    Yes! This is one that google finally got right! I do need and want lifelong support... although not in the sense google was talking about, like being on a ventilator.

How right was I...

... about Ajira Airways yesterday! I freaking love Lost.

Update on Non-Teaching Activities

Mostly what I write about on here is teaching and what that's like, but I thought it might be nice to do a quick update on the rest of my life. So here it is, in list form (because apparently lists are how I process information... who would have thunk it from a such a normally disorganized person?):

1. Cary and I are pretty well settled into our new house, which we bought in November. Most of our pictures are hung, and my mom sent us her piano (so she can turn her formal living room into a library... I want a library). We are trying to phase out our TJ Maxx art and buy real art from our friends or from the art festivals here in town. We're also gearing up for our house blessing/warming next month.

2. Atticus is growing by leaps and bounds. He is almost four months old now, and weighs five pounds. The vet says he was not properly socialized, since he was separated from his brothers and sisters so young. So basically, we have a socially awkward cat who bonds with us by mauling us. We are working hard on fixing this... and by "we," I mean Cary and me, not Atticus.

We are also getting neutered in a few weeks... and this time by "we," I mean Atticus, not Cary and me.

3. George is keeping up the hardcore hatred of Atticus. Poor guy. All he wants is some peace and quiet with Cary and me, and what he gets instead is a kitten half his size pouncing on his head. He has gone from a genial, good-natured fella to a perpetual sourpuss. He's happiest at night, when Atticus is sleeping in the laundry room.

4. I haven't had any real matron of honor duties yet for Suzanne's wedding, but she is going full steam ahead with the planning. The wedding is December 19, and she already has the church, the bishop who is going to marry them (a friend of the family), a reception hall, and a caterer. They started registering last weekend. I'm going down to Palm Bay for a few days over spring break to help shop for a dress - yay!

5. I'm in a really great Bible study at church. It's a study by Beth Moore, who is this dynamo Bible study writer out of Texas. There's a video component to the study, and I guessed that she was from Texas based solely on her hairdo in the video. Every week her hairdo gets bigger. But the study is really good, and I'm getting a lot out of it, despite the giant hair distraction.

6. My obsession with Lost gets bigger every week too. I'm really glad Cary's watching it, or I would explode with commentary at the end of every episode. My officemate Daryl watches it too, so we can discuss on Thursday mornings. Biggest questions right now: are the Oceanic Six coming back to the Island via Ajira Airways? Is Miles the Dharma video guy's baby? Is Locke really dead? Is Desmond coming back to the Island too (with Penny)? Is Sawyer going to be shirtless again? (Just kidding... but really, is he?)

So that's the rest of my life right now... nothing too exciting, but I'm enjoying it.

Happy Valentine

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, so today I am celebrating with my students. I brought in those cheap Valentine cards and candy that elementary school kids give out. The ones I got are dog-themed and have pictures of dogs saying things like, "I'm yours fur-ever," and "You're the pick of the litter, Valentine!" I figured my students never got to have elementary school Valentine's Day, so I'm giving them all the cards and candy. 

One class down, two to go. In my first class, I was giving a quiz, so I gave them the candy first so they wouldn't hate me so much. And then one of them wrote the cutest thing ever at the bottom of her quiz:

Dear Emily (decorated with hearts and smiley faces)

HAPPY VALENTINE (more hearts)

Thank you always. (flower)

I love you and your class.

I heart you (flower, and she actually spelled out "heart")

I heart her too! See, this is why I teach. Because sometimes the students are mind-blowingly awesome.

I also got candy from another student, which was really sweet. I might get more before the end of the day, because international students, especially those from eastern Asia, are often big gift-givers. It's a nice perk of this job. But the "I heart you" totally made my day. 

I Have Found My People!

They are posting pictures at www.englishfailblog.com. This website documents real-world occurrences of grammatical horror. Like the sign that advertised for a "GROJ SALE." Sound it out... that's right, it's "garage sale." It bewilders and frightens me that there are people this dumb in the world.

Now, granted, a lot of the pictures are from Chinese restaurants and other places with non-English-speaking proprietors, or are poor translations from other languages on commercial products. I am not offended by them, because not speaking English well is a pretty decent excuse for not knowing how to spell and punctuate things. These are not the people I think are dumb. I work with these people every day, and they are smart, smart, smart. The dumb people I'm referring to are native English people who spell garage GROJ. WTF, English speakers? Let's step up our game a little and at least try to spell and punctuate words correctly.

So, my fellow photo submitters at the English Fail Blog are truly my people. Nothing feeds my inner snob more than working up a righteous outrage at bad spelling and punctuation, and apparently there are others who feel the same way. My people.

Told You So

I did a peer review activity with my beginning reading/writing class today, wherein they were supposed to read each other's paragraphs about a famous landmark in their country and offer advice on how to improve. I gave them very specific questions to ask about the paragraphs, so they wouldn't get confused. Most of them finished earlier than I expected and then just sat around looking sleepy, but two of them, a Asian woman and a Middle-Eastern man, got into a hardcore grammar/spelling debate. It was awesome. It went kind of like this:

Asian woman: No, you can say, "There are a lot of buildings in there." You remember "there? Say "in there."

Middle-Eastern man: No, I think just "there."

Asian woman: No, is "in there." I know.

Middle-Eastern man (conceding to the better student): Okay.

Me: Actually, he's right. It's just "there."

Asian woman: Ohhhh...

Middle-Eastern man: What I say?!? Ha!

And later...

Middle-Eastern man: Teacher! Look. I write new sentence on new line (points) or same line?

Asian woman: Same line!

Me: She's right. Same line.

Asian woman: I win!

Middle-Eastern man: Curses! Foiled again! (Not really - he said something like "Aargh!")

It cracked me up that they were so into the activity, and obviously having a good time being competitive about it. That's one of my favorite things about my job: getting to see students from totally different backgrounds helping each other learn. I love being a teacher!

List-O-Rama

Wow, I either need to start updating more frequently or cancel the blog altogether. It's seriously been two weeks since I updated? Wow. I find I process my teaching experience best in lists, like "10 Awesome Things about My Students," "Five Things I Wish My Students Would Stop Doing," etc. So maybe I'll update in that format from now on, and it will make updating more frequently easier. It's weird that lists work for me so well - I'm really not an innately organized person at all. Maybe that's why I like lists - they make me be organized, which is something I need to be if I'm going to be a good teacher. So, here are some lists:

Five Hard Things About Teaching Beginners

1. I. Have. To. Talk. Like. This. And some of them still don't understand.

2. When my elementary vocabulary is exhausted and I am totally out of words to explain what I mean, some of them are still confused.

3. I have to repeat myself at least twice for every activity.

4. They are addicted to their dictionaries and/or pocket electronic translators. I secretly fantasize about smashing electronic dictionaries with a giant sledgehammer.

5. It's really hard to explain grammar to someone who isn't really sure what a noun is.

Five Awesome Things About Teaching Beginners

1. When they finally get something, the rewarding feeling is HUGE.

2. It's amazing to see how much they can communicate with so few words.

3. They ask really good, basic questions that make me think about English. Like yesterday, we learned a new word and one of them said, "Teacher, is it noun or verb?" I said, "Both," and he said, "BOTH?!? How I know?!?" That's a really good question that's really hard to answer!

4. They generally work really hard because they want so much to get better.

5. On the whole, they're just adorable :)

Five Hard Things About Teaching Advanced Students

1. They ask really hard questions, and they know if my answer is BS.

2. Sometimes they know more English grammar rules than I do.

3. They can be perfectionists. Like, they speak great English, but because they don't sound like Kevin Costner, they think their English is bad.

4. Sometimes they're not interested in knowing something unless it's going to be on the TOEFL.

5. I have to plan more for them to do, because they finish everything faster.

Five Awesome Things About Teaching Advanced Students

1. They understand almost everything I say, so we can joke around a lot more and I don't have to talk so slowly.

2. They ask really hard questions, which sharpens my meta-linguistic awareness.

3. I get to geek out on them, because I'm teaching them aspects of English grammar and communication that my beginners aren't ready for. Like the passive causative construction, which is what we worked on in my advanced grammar class today.

4. We can do fun things like watch "The Office" for cultural awareness lessons because they can actually understand most of it.

5. I get to be a little more of a friend and a little less of a mom than I do with my beginners, because they don't need as much help.

This semester, I am teaching a beginning reading/writing, an advanced grammar, and an uber-advanced listening/speaking class. Before now, I've mostly worked with intermediate students, so this is a good stretch for my teaching abilities. I'm really enjoying myself, and am frankly a little impressed that I'm able to communicate reasonably well with both groups. Plus, I just love my students. I hardly ever have students I don't like, but I'm continually struck by how cool they all are. I'll leave you with a sample of their coolness.

In reading/writing this morning. Working on using prepositions.

Me: So, how do we fill in this blank? We want to say, "Walk ___ the church. Walk..."

Student 1: ON the church!

Me (smiling): No, walk ON the church would look like this. (Draws picture on board of stick figure on church roof.)

Class: (Cracks up)

Student 1 (laughing): Oops.

Student 2: Spider-Man!